Over.

I am devestated. Theboy and I split up yesterday after three wonderful years. There is still a lot of love between us. He is right, we had gone as far as we could go, we were in danger of losing our love and of hurting each other, so he found the strength and we split. We have exchanged some beautiful loving words since then and now we are kind of steering clear of each other for a bit. Obviously he needs to get his stuff and we will keep in touch, but it hurts so much right now. I admire him greatly for taking the lead in this when I could not, I am grateful not to have had to. I love him deeply, but now we need to find our own futures, we had a choice, ourselves or each other, well if you negelct yourself eventually the relationship will be lost anyway.

This morning was hard, I woke up alone, on my side of the bed, he wasn't there in the dark to kiss goodbye. I turned the light on and dressed in the bedroom, I normally dress downstairs, but I couldn't bear to keep the routine that was built around him. I waver between doing ok, seing the positive and admiring his courage, and then the devestation, wanting to curl up under the covers and cry till I have no tears left.
I will be ok. I believe that to do this he has become stronger than either of us realised, so he will be ok too. My heart hurts.