Wednesday, September 28

The Kirkley Gossip Pages

ok i was gonna scan these but the print quality when i ran them off all those years ago was too poor and they don't come out, so until i figure out a better solution i am gonna have to try to reproduce them hear, spelling mistakes and all. Wish me luck folks. :)

Fri 3rd Jan 1997
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARMERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
Well welcome back to all of you, and I can say that safe in the knowledge that you are indeed all back to be reading this. So how was your Christmas? Actually judging from the phone calls I have received they were as dull, dissapointing, argument filled and lifeless as mine. This begs the question why then am I the only one who kept the going home thing to five days? FOOLS! Still back we all are and as now we giggle nervously at the door of '97, looking hopefully at the bed of a fresh start and fumbling clumsily with the bra strap of new dreams there is but one questiononall our lips, who will rid this new year of its gossip virginity? Well not being one to dissapoint,the gossip pages are open for business after a short break for the holiday season. Scandal was a little short on the ground, resulting in the editor (me) having to go out there and make the storys happen (that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it). Adele however was the first to makeit into this years news, the fruit has gone batty, he obviously doenst know what he's got, we love you sweety. A little warning for any of you of the male persuation, lock your doors, bolt them, no matter what you hear don't open them til morning, the psycho bitch is after new blood(literally). To all the regulars of Trillians, may the Lord have mercy on your souls. I think that's all I need to include, I know the phones ahve been buzzing with all the othernot very intersting stuff thats gone on. All the new information gained as people return, is coming to a computer screen near you soon. Hope 1997 is a good one for everyone, from a personal point of view it can't get much worse that 1996. Remember 0191 285 3144 the girls are back in town, just ask for the witch.
Adele - heres to Monday, we'll give them somethingto talk about!
Rachel - how was Ireland, fall for any ofthose gorgeous accents?
Jolande - bet its good to be back. hope you didnt smuggle any clogs through customs (just loads of red stuff)
Jamie & Burt - stop moping now boys and go to it.
Ekim & Seb - thought you were rid of us? No chance. we're back and there will be no rest for the wicked
Alan - Hows the techno fear going. come on join in the freak show

LOVE
The Witch of Kirkley Lodge

Well i think that is pretty faithfull, spelling and grammer errors are mostly original altho i may have added a few of my own. :)
The psycho bitch is me and this covers the break up with my first boyfriend, that may have been fairly well hidden to the untrained eye, but the gang will all recognise the signs.

Another installment will interupt normal proceedings soon. xxx

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