red light means stop.

don'tknowwhat i am talkingabout, not you, me, i don't know. I amsitting atmydesk at home staring blankly at my rubber traffic cone, and that is what popped into my head.
i went to see a hypnotherapist last night for an assessment. nothing new, I spent the last tenyears building bad habits, i suffer from stress but it's better than it used tobe, i haveno particular trauma,i jusst amwhat i am. I can still be helped. He will teach me not to sabotage myself, to believe in myself more, to break old habits and build new ones. I like him,just as well since i am trusting himwith my mind. I trust mark with my mind too, my mental and emotional health. i didn't know this is what it couldfeel like,to love and be loved, to not have to be onedge, to not be able to pick a fight when i come home pissy, andto beglad of that, to let someone fold me up in a hug and have everything just oooze away till i feel calm. i'm going to marry him when he asks, which he will, i'm glad,amongst everything else i have that to hold onto. im n0t afraidanymore, but i still hav e trouble stopping, standing still, letting him bringlife to a stop for a moment so we can breathe. must work on that, happily ever after is in those out of time and space breaths. stopping now.