Camp, Camper, Camping

Ok, so it's been a few days, whats happening with me?
Well sick as a dog i went camping anyway, i spent most of friday night feeling sorry for myself in the tent, but Munky had fun, so i am glad i tried. We bailed first thing saturday morning as i had a temperature. I spent the rest of the weekend being poorly and miserable, and M was fabulous, loving and supportive andfun and uninvasive. Yay!! I feel loads betterr today, not well, but loads better.
This weds i am off to germany, which is gonna be fab, but means i miss rock and blues. I think current count in 22 of the gang going, most of them basically. Damn i wish i was going, not because rock and blues isesp. my scene, but because camping with that many of those guys would be awesome. Warro and i were chatting about it today, in spite of silliness and alcohol, no one fights, as a camping group it seems to bring out the best ineveryone, even me, and i can be a proper misery if i get one on me. lol
Anyway, i'm gonna go eat something. Later.

ugh!

I am full of cold today which is not good with a weekend of camping and then my flight to germany in the next 6 days! I feel like smeg and i hate it!!!!

Sleeping Beastie

My lord i'm tired!!! I am a total zombie!! If my site visits aren't happening today i may bunk off an hour early and go home for a nap! Sheeesh. Since i met Munky sleep seems to be in short supply, partying and late nights are plentiful!!!
Apparently i have the parental seal of approval, which I am happy about, it maeks lifef so much easier and they are top!!
In the mean time work is fairly busy, i am doing so much stuff I have never done before, feel completely out of my depth. It's great!! Loving it!!
What else? Dunno, too tired to tell you. Keep and eyer on the homepage, i keep updating and tweaking, more photos being added this week and next week i head off to Germany!

Fire and Industry

Ok, wow, i'm shattered! Right where was i? Yeah, war of the worlds was great,. the next thing was FRiday night, went to see Rammstien at the NEC, which is a rubbish venue for gigs, but what an awesome show!!! Fire, stuff going bang, crowd surfing in a rubber dingy, fireworks, yay!!!! fantastic!
Then Saturday i drag my weary self out of bed fairly early and head to chesterfield to meet Munky, who is late collecting me even tho the train ran late and he knew a good hour and a half earlier what time i was arriving. ;)
We went to Hardwick Hall, to look around the ruins and the hall, then for a bite at the hardwick inn, the whole thing was really lovely!!! Then we booked ourselves into the travellodge and crashed out for a while, at least till i got restless and demanded to go out! lol, we went to a couple of bars, can i recommend the Devonshire Cat if you are ever there? And finally with a coupld of his friends made our way to Corporation to rock out!! We gave up and went home at midnite as we were both looking somewhat pumpkinlike with exhaustion by this point.
The next day was a steady start and meet the family at the pub. His family are fantastic!! Really nice, friendly, fun people. We played some pool and talked lots. Then he brought me home and stayed till 5am today when he had to dash back up north to get to work.
All told, a Fken great weekend. This weekend is camping in derbyshire. Whew, when exactly am i suppose dot veg out at home and do nothing to charge my batteries before i go to germany in ten days? EEEEK!

War of the Worlds

well i had to come straight home and tell you all, its fantastic!!!!!!!!! Had me and queenie totally gripped. Yay!! and yeah tom cruise is hot!
It was much more tense and gory than i expected and i had been worrried but its the best film so far this year for me!
Anyway, catch you all later.
Snoogans!

Crazy in love

with this guy! he's wonderful!! I have the best kinds of people in my life and he just makes everything so easy and fun!! I am one happy bunny!!! And this weekend i meet the parents, see it's getting serious aswell.
Snoogans baby. x

Post a secret

Middle posted the link to this site on the MMB http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/ and i have been browsing it. It made me think about the things i don't share, made me think maybe by them being secret i was giving them too much power, so here goes:

I am drawn to passionate, intense, charismatic people because i feel i have none of those things to offer. I am afraid that i am dull, my friends are the only interesting thing about me.

I am afraid to lose weight in case it doesnt change anything, i want it to make me feel better,more attractive, more valued and wanted, but what if it doesnt? What if its not my weight but just me?

I have some confidence now, but for many years all i had was bravado, and it still makes up part of who i am.

i don't know what i believe in, i doubt my opinions.

i don't think i deserve the love and friendship i get from other people.

While i don't think there is anything earth shattering and new in these confessions, i think it may be helping to offer them out there to you all. There are many more inside me, but I am at work and just doing this has shaken me nearly to tears, so i'm gonna take a break from it. If you are reading this and wish to comment, i am asking you to be gentle, this isn't easy, even if you figured it out years ago!

free falling!

I am so falling in love!! and its wonderful. I keep smiling, and i'm restless, and i keep singing to myself!! It's crazy! Its fabulous!
My Munky is amazing!!!

Sunshine in a bag!!

Well i'm happy... i've been humming it all morning, problem being i know all of about 4 lines, lol. Ah well. What can i say i am feeling good. Life is treating me well. My tenders came in at work, so i am slogging through those, which while tedious is also quite interesting. Munky is just the most awesome guy, and I am very spoilt and pampered, which is of course what I erally want out of life. ;) The website is up and running, and tho still in its infancy and somewhat incomplete, its got a message board and guest book and is startign to look like a whole thing in need of work, instead of just peices. :)
I am probably driving all the MMB'rs nuts with it, but hey, what are friends for. ;)
Have a good day out there!!!

Beer, BBQ and Van der graf generator

It's been a crazy weekend. Munky brought two of his best mates down this weekend, which was nervewracking, but ended up being really good, excellent people!!! Then we wentto a BBQ at Queenies, where i had to abandon them to go to seVDGG live, which was awesome (70's prog rock), then back tothe party to play. During all of this i finally manageto get my website sufficiently far along and on line. Check it out at http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/hageltoast/
Whew, well its hot andi am tired so thatsit for now.

Its the perfect day for letting go

setting fire to bridges boats and other dreary worlds you know
Lets get happy
- The Cure

Ok, so its a strange old day,
thankfully in spite of a spate of small bombs in London it doesn't look as tho anyone i know was even hurt, in fact so far the death toll is low. For those of us over 20 i think this brings back memories of living with the constant threat of the IRA.

On a brighter and more personal note, I am falling in love with Munky, it's harder to let myself go than it used to be. I don't want to have to go through the process of recovering myself and leaving, or being left, again. Nontheless it seems i can't help myself. Best thing? It's reciprocated. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am all wibbly still!

Manifesting Toast

Ok, so manifesting is the current thing with me i guess, barefoot doctor, Paul McKenna and my notes fromt he universe all seem to suggest this is the way to go, and it does fit to my existing belief system. (No, not the one where i am god :p) So I need to manifest: 4 stone less of me for a start!! I am havign major problems shifting weight, i know why, i keep eating, i can't help it! It's very frustrating, i lack self control, and i try sooo hard and do really well for a while, then it all goes to hell. My Dr kindly informed me i;m dangerously obese and that they would do exactly nothing to help me. Grrr. It's been going on a few years now, i wasnt always overweight, but it has been going on for a few years. I need help!! There, I said it. Now to do something about it!

On a lighter note Munky came over last night, and it was wonderful to see him, i crave him so badly when he isnt about. I am falling hard folks! And its wonderful!

Not quite the duracell bunny!

Wow, i'm shattered, My batteries sooo need a recharge! It was a strange old weekend and the emotional ups and downs have worn me out!
I was due to have a flock of succulents descend on me, but for one reason and another, I just had Birdie and theboy, so it was the four of us, including me and Mumky, with a BBQ and a few drinks. Friday evening was lovely and i enjoyed it, but i was hurt and dissapointed too. Saturday there were the three of us in the day, me, Munky and Birdie, and then we dropped Birdie off at the station and were joined in the evening by Dave the lodger. Sunday morning Dave announced his dad was coming over in a bit to pick him up, money was tight so he was moving out. Just like that, no notice. I understand why and thats ok, but again i am dissapointed he didnt tell me sooner, and it throws me into a bit of a mess financially. It will be tight this month. So it was a bit akward while he moved out and then Munky and i were able to relax together till he had to go home later. All in all a bit of a mixed back. And I feel drained. A quiet week tho I hope as next weekend is another quite busy one. :)