to cry is to know that you're alive

well happy halloween my dears, may your Samhain be suitably spooky!!! I am heading over to Q69's to watch scary movies. She then has to escort me home coz i am a big wuss!
I went to see Thunder live at Bolsover castle at the weekend with my fella and his brothers and his dad. It was very fun and we were all being pretty silly. :)
Then saturday we headed up to beverly for a halloween party. I was on cocktail duty so we had balck n blues and vampire martinis. Yum. :)
For piccies of halloween check out the link below.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hageltoast/sets/1255886/

the pic above btw ismy fella in the hat and the older of his younger brothers friday night.

i've been loved by the sweetest and hated by heroes!

yeah, i'm pinching the queencarly's idea and using lyrics at the moment for some of my titles, only coz i'm having a dry spell on titles, and there are only so many times you can use them. ;)

Well, in a few mins i bunk off work and head up to the station to start my party weekend. Tonite, i see Dr Feelgood and Thunder at Bolsover castle, tommorrow its off to beverly for a halloween party, sunday its the weary way home and collapse.

hopefully some good photos too. ;)

Smooches all and do definatly drink too much!

his infernal majesty

Ville Valo
Yumm
Nuff said

kikley pages pt 3

and once more we have a loveingly reproduced episode from the kirkley flat, B5, rumoured to be satanists (oh how we revelled in that!)

Well here we are again, a little later than ussual - but then it's revision week - what do you want? infact why are you wasting you're time reading this - stop it and do some work!

So where did we leave off? Ah yes the night before the birthday and all through the house no-one was stirring, well apart from myself. Thankyou all (it's my page I'll use it as a thankyou letter if I want) for being so sweet and lovely and really taking my little warning seriously. Unfortunately the one person who didn't get the mail ruined it. How dare they, death is not good enough, evil witch! (shesays cringing behind the screen and looking rather sheepish) Still theres nothing quite like a night of scandal is there?Less said soonest mended (don't you love those lovely english proverbs!).

For those who haven't heard Seb will be leaving us,although when is unsure, how not investigated, and why is still being debated! We shall miss you - although you seem to be avoiding us now, so will we notice?! Come around some time you fool we need outsiders to pick on.

Some have been heard to comment that this weeks gossip quota has been far from full, however I would beg to differ, although perhaps the printable stuff has been a little thin on the ground. If everyone thinks carefully I am sure they'd agree. Anyway, gossip in the eye of the beholder, you just need to know where to look. Or in Sams case, where to listen - will the culprits please remember that its exam time and people need to revise. I know that time off for stress releiving activities is a good thing, but do they have to be so, um, vocal? I'd watch it or everyone will want to join in (ofcourse - if thats the idea - why didnt you just say so!).

Kirkley seems to be the town of tension at the moment, the stress of revision (or the guilt of non revision) is attacking everybody. Arguments have replaced conversati0ns, snide remarks abound and sensitivity is heightened. Still some deserve it really. Others have expressed concern that people are going a little too far with the jokes at the moment - chill at least they're not arguments, and I think that the note on the door was most amusing!

The more observant of you may have noticed a new name on the list. for those who have yet to meet her say HELLO MICHELLE (preferably in the style of Wayne). this is the latest recriut to the list, and hopefully to the flat (known as B3/5 - hopefully this'll save on arguments). Michelle is now a fullyfledged member of the Colly drinkers and B5's TV whatchers guild, she drinks pints, takes the piss and enjoys Red Dwarf but not Friends (don't worry - she'll learn) and shes from London (well you can't have everything).

Well that's it, apart from the petty squabbles (and a couple of serious rows), but then I don't think they'd all fit in. In the future I can see more of them, and mabe a visitor this weekend (she might stop the pathetic grinning then), and possibly a carnival (well we'll need a brake won't we!). Here's to revision, may it die a long and horrible death and the university burn donw the morning exams start (or the day thy're marked).

Adele: Keith says hi!! Love you honey.
Jo: You remember sleep? Wellget some (or when am I going to feed?)
Sam: (hi guys! Only joking sweety. Oh yes and when does Jamie get his ice cream?
Michelle: Well what does the new recruit think?
Rach: The cake was lovely really. I love my little Jessabel.
Seb: So when do we get a leaving date?
Ekim: How's it going with work and exams?
Sim: Good luck, we get ours next week.
Burt: Next time we'll get Del to wake us all up to listen!
Jamie: Get back to bed!
The Witch of Kirkley Lodge

Ok so some of that one confused the hell ot of me and Nik, harrdy harr harr, you know which bit i mean. ;)
And yeah,i lied, well what do you expect, Apps has a big fking gob and it wasnt really all that!
love ya.

i've got the 21st century breathing down my neck, i must move fast, you understand me

right ok, thats the hard part of the week over, i am getting an unusual lift into work, unusual in that i normally walk, not that i'm going by camel or anything. I have amorningof paperwork and then the train to go play with mark!! woohoo, off to see a gig and then on saturday a halloween party, everything is in place for the furries and stuff while i am away, Anna, you are a star hun!!!!
Finally iget to chill out with a glass of amaretto and catch up with some blogging.
I believe its time for more kirkley pages, so hang on a min and i shall bring you some!

i want a perfect body...i want a perfect soul!

whew, well I can relax for a few minutes, but only a few, its none stop at the moment, between working overtime and trying to get my life in order its all a little bit crazy. But fun. I am in charge of halloween cocktails. Whatfun!

school days

Right, well most of today is going to be travelling and lectures. All in all its quite a long day! But fun. Definately fun. :)

from the highest heights.

well it's official, i have a boyfriend the parents are struggling to find fault with. They are dubious about the bunny, but otherwise the only negative thy have managed was, from my Dad, he's too tall. He's 6'3" and Dad is only 5'7". They are giving him a short chair at xmas. ;)

hmmm. ok.

I met myself yesterday,
When i looked inmy mind,
And you were right there with me
In a corner ofmy head,
And all the things you said
Were ever so unkind,
Wouldn't you agree?
But who are you to argue
When you and I are me?

more chaos

morning all. Well, sadly no, I have never eaten at the cottage of content, although i hope to next time I visit Margaret in the Cotswolds. :) I will let you know how i find it.

Ok, so I was asked what chaos theory is, not something i know much about for a start, but it's now better known as the butterfly effect. The original concept is along the lines that there is a pattern to everything, even chaos, if you know where to find it. The following is an extract which covers perhaps the best known aspect of chaos theory.

The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, pg. 141)

I would like to know much more about it, it's an intriguing concept.
I would also like to go back to bed. ;)

double post

how weird, well it's gone now coz i have edited it.
s to fill the space. Some random thoughts perhaps.

why do hamsters always bite me?
what about the muffin man?
if you are born on feb 29th do you only get to have a birthday party every four years?

why do pets always ignore the chew toys you get them and chew all the things you try to keep them away from?

chaos theory.

I just love the name of this place, so succulent

sooo, today was totally chaotic, running herre and there, 8 and a bit hours without a break, home for 2 then back out for 2. I love day slike this, but couldnt do many ina row. I also got totally drenched, which added to my cold, I dont suppose is gonna help. Tommorrow should be quieter tho, and then school on weds.
so, if a butterfly claps its wings....
i dont know anything about chaos theory, it intruiges me tho, i should find out. After all we use the term so freely, would be nice to know what it really meant.

for anyone who has been enjoying, oreven understanding them, I have not forgotten, there will be another Kirkley page soon.

The bunnies smell, it bugs me a little that the house smells of small furry animals, but they are worth it, they are such a joy!

ominous

I re read that last entry. Sounds ominous. It wasn't meant to. I just think maybe we can get a bit more organised and take some of the pressure off our lives. I am also concerned about how much work and the travelling are taking out of M.

catching up.

it seems the last couple of months are catching up with us. Mark hasn't really been well since the bronchitus, and is ill again today. He's basically very very run down, between covering at work coz they are short staffed and the stress of changes there, his course, coming to see me, and trying to have a life, i think it's all too much. As for me, work is kinda stressy at the moment, in a good way, but i barely get a night at home anymore, and tho I am having a good time, the job getting busy, two courses, the house to take care of and trying to find time for my friends and my relationship is taking its toll, I am always on the verge of just crashing!!
I am not sleeping well either, i lie awake till midnight, wake up at four or five and doze fitfully till 6. How long can we go on with this? Howe do we make things easier on ourselves?

weary

says it all really i am weary. Tired, not sleepy, just done in. That's all. good night.

Old Friends

sooo, i finally made contact after several years with an old school friend. It was nicve to hear back. YOu got to love text and email, we might never have got in touch if we had to keep trying to call each other. :)
It's a damn good thing his parents didn't up and move like Andy's. That bummed me out. I may never see or speak to one of my oldest friends again because against all expectation his parents moved house, how much of a downer was that when i found out!!
Still maybe we will have a synchronus bumping into, like with Ang. That would rock.
Looking forward to catching up with Delaney properly too.

best laid plans

Well I am printing out planing application forms for some work I am doing at work, rather than at home, sadly. And in the spirit of reflection that was cut short last night I was thinking about my plans.
As a child i planned to be either and optician like my grandpa, or an engineer like my dad.
I eventually discovered that to be an opitician you had to be Not Squeamish about eyes, and both jobs required hard sciences. So psychology it was then. So then I planned to work really hard and get a good degree, hmmmm, drink, social life, boys and general falling apart go tin the way and i scraped out with an ordinary BSc (no hons). Well then I didn't know what I planned anymore so i bounced around temping for some years until, this January I finally got a permenant post in the council dept I have been temping for the last few years. Now I was at least a proper employee instead of a tmp. Then they signed me up to study Highways and transport engineering for a professional certificate. Oddly, some 13 years after giving up on my plans to be an engineer I suddenly find myself becoming one anyway.
I belive i may also have planned to be extremely rich and fairly thin by now too, sadly these have yet to come to pass. ;)

if words could speak theyd mean even less.

ok, so all this digging up the past has left me wondering how people are, who still spares me a thought. Are my old friends happy?
Did they become what they thought they'd be, I know i'm not. Would i recognise them on the street?

I'll never come down!!

Listening to - XLR8R, sadly not going any more, they split in 1996, but i still enjoy them. :)

Well, lunch with Vibs was great, nice to see her, and we went to Lush, always a mistake when you have no money. heehee.

Beyond that, I hung out with the bunnies and got some stuff sorted. Problem with all this industrius sorting is the binmeb don't take extra trash bags and I am clearingt he debris of 5 years and two relationships out of this house. I am of course keeping a few select items, but I have sooo much crap. I am also organising the memoribilia I do have so I can enjoy it instead of drowning in it.

Other thanthat I am just chilling here on my Pc, thinking about everyone out there on the www and how tenuous our connections really are. I have made good friends and met the love of my life through a screen and a keyboard. How weird is that?

A bit of a Whinge and other Stuff

Ok, so first a few grumbles on a monday morning.
Both my pairs of jeans have holes in I need to sew up.
I caved and got the bus this morning, I am a little dissapointed in myself.
I am full of cold.
I didnt sleep well.
I miss Mark and he's only been gone 3 and a half hours.
I am skint coz Eric and his run cleaned me out.
I just feel a bit bummed.
I feel I let JO (dutch) down last night coz I was in bed when she called wanting to stop for tea.

On the plus side
I can do my homework at work this morning.
I have friends to check it before i submit it.
No college this week means I can go out to the pictures wednesday to see kinky boots with Marie.
Mark might have his dads car and be able to see me in the week.
The bunnies are getting on loads better.
I am lunching with Vibha today.
M got me a smoothie maker, which is awesome, so I can have a lovely fruit smoothie at home.
The world won't stop spinning if I have to take some time off sick to get better.
The holes in my jeans are really quite small.

All in all life is good.

Yo!!!

I have just had a late lunch with Jo (said Yo, she's dutch) who I lived with for a couple of years at uni, one of my very dearest friends. It was fabulous as always, and too short, as always. Quick catch up on the gossip, dreams and her kids. She was shining, looks wonderfully happy and well, so good to see her.
Ah the times we have had. And she brought me dutch treats, some sweet biscuits and stuff and the RED STUFF. Many a debauched night has been kicked into gear by the red stuff, it's dutch, alcoholic, and tastes like ribena. Woohoo!!
So here I am, back in the office and dead happy, Mark will be home when I get back, which is great. Pizza for tea, I shall cook properly tomorrow for us, and a nice homey kind of weekend planned.
Also, Tammy is due November 23rd, which is going to be awesome, i can't wait to have her over!!
Right now that's about it, catch up with you later.
Mwah!

School Days

how do you remember school? I mostly enjoyed it, I remember playing risk in the library with Claire, I remember hanging out in the 6th form block with Lucie,Faye, Claire, Tigs and Lee. I remember sneaking behind the sports hall with Kate and Sarah in the first few years. How Vibs and i hated each other to begin with but have been firm friends now for about 14 years.
Anyway, point is, work sent me back to school recently and its wednesday which is a school day. Tonight is more autocad, which i am loving, and today I have been trying to do my first ever assignment in traffic engineering, its fun, better than real work anyway. ;)

kirkley gossip pages - pt 2

Right, I believe i promised i would post all of these in time, so here is the second one. They are in no particular order.

Well now, thankyou for the various comments (yes I am quite insane. andif you think that was scary, you ain't seen nothin' yet). Well the gossip keeps rolling in and I'm keeping book (if you don't get the reference, you will by tommorrow). Now we all know that the babes have declared this night sacred, as Grandma's English birthday, and as celebration we are going to see a film staringthe biggest tart of our time, about a woman who, through using men, general bed hopping, swindling and deception, but above all style, ran a country, was declared a saint, and whenshe died took an entire country with her - draw your own conclusions. I should see most of your then, but for those I won't or who can't wait for the latest update, here it is.

The new flatmate (Sam) has passed the test (incidently her email address should be at the top for those who wish to pester her). Yes she's as bad as the rest of us. The final vote camein last night when having declared the alter was cool, she thought she'd just check that we believed in faithfullness - as regards a way of life for other people. Welcome to the assylum Sam.
The Psycho bitch is on form, yes even those who don't live in the area are no longer safe. The flat should be recieving a little visiter this weekend, mind you so's she, so that culd put a damper on things! May I advise all Lirkleyresidents to invest in a good pair of earplugs. Does this mean the double date is off? Probablya lucky escape, as the mind of the goat has beenworking overtime!

Well I'm back off to my sick bed, and may I take this oppertunaty to appologise to all those who have been caught in the backlash of my temper recently, especially to thise who are having a crap time aswell. I'll get back to being a little ray of sunshine tonight, promise!!!
Again, a plee for any news I'm not yet aware of (as if).

The Witch of Kirkley Lodge

Ok, so once again, that will leave most readers (if there are any of you out there) going What? But for those of us who shared the trauma of 1996 at Kirkley, it should raise a few smiles. Ah Nikki, remember how we sobbed at Evita?

Incidentaly, the pic is Andraste McGregor, aka The Witch of Kirkley Lodge.

pictures

Ok,welli said i'dpost a pic of the bunnies so here it is.

the trouble with bunnies

We just adopted Eric, from Hunnybunny rescue centre. He is a fluffy white lop bun and uber cute. The only problem is he is recently neutered and still fertile, so we spend lots of time pulling him off Esme. So far so good we think. Anyway we now have a seperate run for him, so they take it in turns to be lose while i am out and play together when i can watch them. will post a picture later of the buns.
We are also hamster sitting Winnie, for a friend for a couple of weeks. She's a cutie, was never really a fan of hamsters, but Winnie is so adorable i am reviewing my opinion.

Otherwise, finally nailed my first set of equations for junctions last night, so i can get stuck into the assignment and stuff. Getting on top of other work and i have Autocad again tommorrow which i love!! School is so much better in your 20's than it was as a kid, although i mostly liked it then. :)

M is at school tonite, learning to analyse poetry i believe. He passed is first assignment, apprently it was very good, but he can't spell. This is not news!! heehee.

So, tonight i shall add some bunnypics and depending how time goes i might add the next of the kirkley gossip pages, for historical interest to a certain few. :)

equation = confusion

Ok, well i had my first junctions workshop yesterday, and it was fun, but i have to admit i dont know if i am doing theseequations right at all. Will have to pick G's brain tommorrow if he'll let me. First module and its full of maths, eeek, i havent done any maths in oooh 7yrs, and precious little in the 4 before that. Totally at sea. Otherwise tho, all is well, a little vexed at work, but itsnothingreally. Roll onthe weekend i say!! as long as tommorrows 7 hours are enuff to fix EVERYTHING under the sun.
sheesh.
Funny, I am a little low and very tiredtoday, but i have been so upbeat lately i am not sure why today i have lost my shine. Maybe i shall find it on the walk in tommorrow.

who am i?

Anyone? If you have any thoughts let me know. ;)

Right, well, I am tired, I am saddle sore from my first cycling adventure (terror). Otherwise tho, pretty chipper. Walked in today as the evil cycle inflicted enuff aches and pains on me yesterday to keep me going for a while.
Paid for my christmas do's, going to see Freak out with the girls and then the team meal.
Otherwise, it's another steady day at work. Q69 may come over tonite to watch a ovie, no idea what yet, but since our movie wednesdays are being interupted by autocad, i want to do something!

Woohoo!!!!

I love wrestling!!! I do I do I doooooo!!!
And the best thing about the 1PW show in Doncaster? I got to shake hands with AlSnow. This guy is the reason i took up wrestling (all be it briefly) he is an amazing technical wrestler, a great character and a coach. And even more? He is a nice guy. I also spoke with Raven and the BLue Meanie, both great guys. It was awesome. They were out signing autographs and stuff so me and 1500 otherpeople, but i neverhadcontact like that at a WWE show. And M really is into his wrestling, soit was wonderful to go with him!! I am still on cloud 9 and it was saturday!
Ok, so a quick plug... 1PW rocked my socks off. Here's the link. http://www.1upgames.co.uk/
I shall be adding it to my site, sports page soon too.
In other news i cycled to work today and most of the way back. I will not be cycling for the next few days as i am very saddlesore. This is a big deal for me cozi only recently learned toride a bike and it was hard to do it today.

Lets go! Al Snow!